Steve Chatterton
Will Write for Food

All Together in the Altogether

April 17th, 2014 by Steve

While browsing The Oxford Dictionary of Idioms today (I’m a bit of a word geek, for those of you not keeping score at home), I came across this entry:

In the ALTOGETHER: without any clothes on; naked.

Then I remembered what cheeky wordsmiths The Beatles were and wondered if there might be a second meaning to the song All Together Now. Were they encouraging us to sing along or strip down to our birthday suits en masse? I defer to Paul’s request to take his “friend to bed” for my interpretation today.

It also gives me second thoughts about Hammy Hamster’s friend Altogether Morris.

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Nothing Objectionable

April 14th, 2014 by Steve


Last Saturday I drove to London (Ontario) at the mercy of radio as my only means of entertainment. Once you get a good distance from Toronto your choices become extremely limited and somewhat dodgy, and I found myself hitting the search buttons on the radio tuner almost every 30 seconds, hoping desperately for some consistent programming that could help prevent highway hypnosis.

I forgot about the radio for a few minutes when I had to do some tricky lane changing. When I was all sorted out I heard a station identification for the frequency I was on. They said their programming was family friendly, from their music selections to their between-song banter, and you could listen to them with confidence they would never, ever let you hear anything remotely objectionable.

Deeply offended by this, I immediately hit the search button again and landed on a station playing “Anarchy in the UK” by the Sex Pistols. I cranked it, singing at the top of my lungs, drumming madly on the steering wheel, neither family friendly nor socially acceptable but delighted to the core.

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A Dream Remembered

April 14th, 2014 by Steve


I don’t often remember my dreams unless they wake me with my heart pounding in my throat. When it happens, I’m glad it’s not a regular occurrence.

I woke this morning at 4:00 after dreaming about an old high school buddy named Kurt. We had been pretty tight even though he was a year or two ahead of me. He was always pretty laid back and open to discussing weird ideas, and he had a sense of humour, which really counted.

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642 Things #2 – Green Stuff

April 4th, 2014 by Steve

642 Things to Write About

I remember my Grandma as one h*** of a cook and my mother as the personification of how things sometimes skipped a generation. For instance, Grandma (pronounced Gramma by those in the know) always roasted her turkey to perfection; crispy skin, never dry in the least. And even if it were slightly overdone, her pan dripping gravy meant all was forgiven. My mother’s pork chops, however, doubled as hockey pucks once they cooled. Perhaps it was for the best. If mom had Grandma’s skill, I likely would have been a morbidly obese child.

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Camp NaNoWriMo – April 2014

April 1st, 2014 by Steve


Today is the first day of the April 2014 edition of Camp NaNoWriMo, an online writing camp that promises “a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing.”

Since this is my first attempt at writing a novel or participating in a writing camp or class, and considering that March was a nightmare for me and April’s not looking better, I’ve decided to set the bar as low as I can for myself; my goal is to get 10,000 words of my first draft done by the end of the month.

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